Criticism - There Are No Two Ways Around It.

You will quickly learn, that while pregnant, people will not hesitate to ask you about your boobs or vagina.  People will ask you the same questions over and over.  Do you have any names picked out?  Do you have any cravings?  Do you want a boy or a girl?  Do you think you're having a boy or a girl?  You will have to think of creative ways to answer these questions, and you will also have to pretend that it's the first time you've heard them.  Cravings?  Oh, hmm... well, I don't know... I guess, lately, I've kind of been craving ....."  You can make up anything.  People will be pleased with any answer. 

People will insist that they can read your body and tell you what you are having.  If you get to it first and tell them you are having a boy, for example, they will nod accordingly and insist, "I know.  I could tell.  You're carrying low."

After you have your baby, everyone's favourite topic is breastfeeding.  It is anyone and everyone business what you are doing with your boobs.  People are very passionate about it.  Are you doing it?  Are you not doing it?  You will then have to hear their breastfeeding stories.   

Another favourite is talking to you via the baby.  "Did mummy change your bum this morning?"  "Did mummy feed you your dinner yet?"  "Did you give mummy a hard time today?" 

You have a name, I'm assuming?  There is no longer a need for it.  You will now only be referred to as "mummy" or some variation of that. 

People will also ask you questions about your baby and then supply you with their own answer. 

Is that a birthmark?  Oh, you must have had too many onions/milk/nightmares when you were pregnant. 

Is it just me or is his head a little flat?  You should try sleeping him on his tummy. 

He's not sleeping!?  Still??!  Maybe his room is too dark.  Maybe his room is too light.  Maybe he doesn't like his room.  Maybe it's too quiet.  Maybe it's too noisy.  

Does he poop every day?  You're probably not feeding him enough.

Does he poop every day?  You're probably feeding him too much. 

He's crying.  Maybe his hungry?  Maybe he's tired?  Maybe he's wet?  Maybe he's scared?  Maybe he's cold?  Maybe he's hot?  Maybe he's got gas? 

Maybe he's just crying because he's a baby. 

When someone asks you how old your baby is, they will immediately begin reciting their kids' accomplishments.  "He's how old?  Oh... mine was crawling by that age, walking by that age, toilet trained by that age.  Reciting the alphabet by that age.  How many teeth does he have? 3?  Mine had 4 by that age."   I don't understand the competition.  All kids eventually learn how to walk, use the toilet and recite the alphabet.  And there are very few children in grade 6 still wearing diapers.  I do not have a medical background, but I can assure you that the growth speed of baby teeth has nothing to do with intellect.  What's the rush?

I used to think that mums who went on and on about how wonderful everything is were full of it, "Oh, little Johnny slept through the night from the moment we brought him home from the hospital, he latched onto my breast the first time and I swear, he never cries.  I just don't know how I made it through life this far without him...."  (barf), but I've come to realize that these mums are actually the smart ones.  Make up a bunch of crap and pretend that everything is eezy-peezy so that you don't have to put up with everyone's comments.   Not a bad idea.  

The thing is, unfortunately, you are not the first person to have a baby.  So everyone who has had a baby before you, is an expert.  Everything that you are dealing with, they already have.  I'm sure the comments/advice/lectures stem from love and care, but it can be annoying and it can be upsetting.  So, bite your tongue, and do what YOU think is best for YOUR baby.  You're the boss, applesauce. 

Amy

BABY TIME: Hospital Essentials

1.  Notepad and Pen - the nurses will give you lots of tips and you'll want to keep track of baby's meal times, medicine times for yourself and jot down any questions for medical staff that may not be in your presence.

2.  Nipple cream.  Can't stress this enough.  It will help you with nursing and pumping.  I would have died if I didn't have this.  Literally.



 3.  Comfy jammies - preferably the nightgown sort because the hospital staff will need access to your lady bits and it's a pain to pull pants on and off. 

4.  Water and snacks.  It's nice not to have to get up.  It's also nice not to have to eat hospital food toujours.

5.  Shower supplies from home.  It's unlikely that you'll be up to shaving your legs and doing a body scrub, but you may want to wash the stink off and brush your teeth.

6.  Pads.  Big.  Humongous.  Pads.  The biggest you can find.  They'll still be 5x smaller than the hospital variety, but you'll need 'em.  There will be lots of "activity" down there. I brought:  Always Extra Heavy Overnight Maxi With Flexi Wings - they did the job. 





7.  Lip balm and mascara.  I know you just had a baby, but you don't have to look like hell.

8.  Flip flops

9.  Cell phone, camera, batteries, chargers.

10.  Receiving blankets and some little (previously washed) jammies and hats for the baby... hospital blankets are so scratchy

11.  Reusable grocery bags - visitors typically bring you gifts and you can just toss everything into a couple of big sturdy grocery bags, rather than have your partner lug zillions of bags and flowers to the car in several trips.

Amy

Shoo fly, don't bother me

My sister, Simon and I braved the elements and went on a little nature walk today in search of the "rare red trillium" in the Mer Bleue bog.  You find things to do, that normally, you would have no interest in doing, when you're at home all day.  Anyone about to go on mat leave doesn't understand it.  Anyone on mat leave, totally gets it.  Ya feel me, girlfriend?  You know what's up.

So, off we go in the pouring rain, trying to avoid serial killers and dangerous wildlife, in search of a potentially fictitious flower, and, nothing.  All we had to show for our troubles was mosquito bites, mascara meltdown and a soaker.  Ah well... better than staying at home, I suppose!

Simon at Mer Bleue, removed from his stroller for a photo op

Simon was spared from bug bites because of this nifty little thing that snapped over his stroller by Jolly Jumper:  http://www.amazon.ca/Jolly-Jumper-Insect-Strollers-Bassinets/dp/B002FIQ7I4

Easy to use, compact, and runs about $8.  Worthwhile investment.

Amy

I have an 8 month old... when did that happen?!?

It's 7:05pm.  I've just put Simon down to bed for the night and I can't believe that 8 months has already passed.  I'm really a mum !  I'm totally doing it!  Sometimes I forget that I'm a mum.  When my husband and I are in front of the tv, watching "our shows", everything feels normal, and as it has felt for the last 5 years.  Then I catch a glimpse of the baby monitor light, the toy box, or my "jiggly bits" and I remember that I'm an actual mum.

There is a little tiny person upstairs who is depending on me for everything.  Sometimes I have a little laugh to myself, like, "I'm totally a grown-up", other times, a little cry, because it's completely scary!

Simon, 18 days old

Everyone told me that the first year flies by so quickly.  It sounded too cliché to be true, but I truly can't believe that this time last year, I had the biggest cankles known to man, and I was converting my spare room into a nursery.

I hope my experiences encourage, assure and humour you !

Amy